Christian Chicken

A few of my friends brought it to my attention that Chik-Fil-A is a "Christian" company. Here's their mission statement:


"to glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us and to have a positive influence on all who come in contact with Chick-fil-A."

I'm not religious, but i'm pretty sure God's plan has something to do with love, life and kindness, not Chicken.

Does this strike anyone else as extremely odd?

Chik-fil-A makes McDonald's seem COMPLETELY normal:


"McDonald's vision is to be the world's best quick service restaurant experience. Being the best means providing outstanding quality, service, cleanliness, and value, so that we make every customer in every restaurant smile."

I quit the internet.

Last night I had a dream that Tay Zonday and my neighbor Andy were going on a year long back packing excursion. Tay Zonday and i were really good friends. I was in his room while he was packing. The only way i could describe his room is to ask you to picture your best friend's teenage brother's room. Accidentally minimalist, with residual baubles of childhood. An expensive collectible Action figure precariously placed on the dresser next to a black comforted bed with a blue metal bed frame. You know what i mean. OK back to Tay: We were listening to music and i was playing guitar along with it to prove to him that i could play by ear. We joked like brother and sister. We were really tight.


So fucking weird. A random man from a YouTube viral video that has no place or part in my LIFE was in my dream last night. A person I've never met, yet i know his NAME. Just kind of a mind fuck.

I've also had a dream in black and white once; James Dean and i were on a magic carpet having a picnic amongst the clouds and we were really in love. Now THAT(!) was fucking FAMOUS!

Slang.

I single handedly created a new slang word: Famous.

It's synonymous with Hot/Cool/Awesome.

Example: Man, these new boots I got are so fucking famous.



Use it. When they're saying it on MTV, you'll know where it came from.

Sad Knees.

SO, before I'm 26, i need to get a car. I also would like to use hot or bikram yoga as my main source of exercise. Sadly my knees can't take the almost daily workout on the elliptical, or using my feet as my main source of transport. This saddens me deeply. Walking everywhere and clearing my mind and heart through fast paced cardio are two of my favorite things to do! But i really do love hot yoga, and I'm looking for more balance. Many changes to come...

He could fly!

I had a dream last night that Joe could fly. When he discovered this amazing talent, he put me on his back and we flew together. We whizzed past my bus stop laughing maniacally like two children on a roller coaster. Then we decided to fly over the zoo. For some reason all of the really wild animals were in one area together. Lions, Monkeys, Tigers, Deer, ANYTHING you could think of. And we had a perfect aerial view. I felt so fortunate that he would share his ability to fly with me! I woke up laughing so hard.

Joe's even a sweet heart in my dreams.

After i fell back asleep, I had a dream that i was back in college and my girlfriends and I were hanging out with some seedy guy that put on shady plutonium light shows in his apartment.

This guy is way better than Beyoncé!

I believed everything my sister said

Rated R, don't read it if you're easily offended or living on another planet where people don't talk about sex.

When i was little, my sister used to make up really elaborate explanations for anything related to the reproductive system. She told me that as a girl matures, there's a jelly blob inside of her abdomen, and when a woman has sex for the first time a man breaks that blob, and that's where the blood comes from. Then in wide eyed amazement, i asked her if she knew how gay men had sex, she confidently exclaimed "YES"! But I'll save that for another blog.

The key to a happy life.

I'm really happy. Not about a particular event or object, I’m just happy. I'm REALLY happy actually. I can find humor in most things, I'm surrounded by a lot of people who make me happy, and I can't complain. I can't complain about anything really. I think I’ve figured out the key to happiness, or at least my own happiness: It's realizing that 90% of the things that most people hold nearly and dearly don't even matter. Expensive cars, designer clothes, expensive gadgets don't matter. Most electronics don't matter. Petty drama based on irrational feelings don't matter. TV doesn't matter. Romantic rejection doesn't matter. It's ok that he/she doesn't like you. One of 6 billion people on Earth doesn't like you, so what. Most of you still have your health, a roof over your head, enough food/water to keep you alive and by GOD a means to access this electrical podium in which I use to convey my thoughts and emotions to whoever has the patience to read them! I'm looking around my office right now, and I'd say 75% of the things on my desk don't matter. Maybe I should define through an example what I mean by "doesn't matter". Imagine you're stranded on an island surrounded by clean freshwater with conditions to grow any food crop, and you could take 5 things with you and another person in order to sanely survive for a year. Everyone's list would be different, but I’m sure most items are related to food, shelter, sensible clothing, low tech entertainment, and _?__. Now that you have your 5 items chosen---EVERYTHING THAT'S NOT ON THE LIST DOESN'T MATTER!! It really is that simple. DO you think people in Darfur care about House or Project Runway!? Although they don't have these meaningless baubles that the TV tells us are important, they still find joy in life's simple beauty. To people who aren't infected with this foolish notion that they need to watch the OC to see what happens to Brent (I’ve never seen an episode of the OC, but I’m assuming there MUST be a Brent), rain is a joyous occasion. When was the last time you were excited about rain? When was the last time your 'plans were ruined' by RAIN!

I have to do some work, so I’ll leave you with this: Unless you're pining over a sick parent, your own poor health or destitution - fuck it, it doesn't matter. Don't worry, be happy.

I voted!

Did you?!

Going Raw

My goal is to become a raw foodist. I've been reading a lot about raw foodism, and I'm going to do it. I've been comfortably vegan for a little over 4 years now, and i actually eat a lot of raw foods already. It shouldn't be too difficult. The book I'm reading right now, The Raw Food Detox Diet, is a book I'd recommend to anyone interested in the raw food lifestyle. The book uses a person's current lifestyle to determine how quickly one should transition into this lifestyle so they don't jump the gun and do more harm than good. When you detox the body, you're cleaning your cells. the waste has to go somewhere. Detoxing has to be done slowly so your liver and kidneys can process this waste, and toxins aren't released into the bloodstream. I've been about 80% raw for almost 2 weeks now and i feel really alive, awakened and amazing. The world seems different in some way, and i really think it's because of the way I've been eating. So I'm attempting to begin a 100% raw diet(not as a means of weight loss) on November 1. The first of the month just seems like a really appropriate time for a new start. I'll try to post updates as often as i can. Wish me luck! :)

Happy Birthday to me!

Today is October 22, 2008. I received this e-mail from an elderly, sweet, dear woman that i work with:

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Vickie, Happy Birthday to you
May the dear Lord bless you, May the dear Lord bless you
May the dear Lord bless you, May the dear Lord bless you

(Could you hear me singing this to you?)


May you have a very happy and blessed day!
My love and prayers, XXXXXX XXXXXXXX


My Birthday is in June, and i received the exact same message the day after my ACTUAL birthday and she addressed it to the correct name. Who is VICKIE!?

The Line

It's 2008,

How should a woman react when she feels someone has crossed "the line", be it subtle or overt? The line being an uncomfortable, too-friendly exchange between members of the opposite/preferred sex.

(I'm going to have to be vague in hopes of not defaming some one's character.)

I sent an e-mail yesterday asking a person (we'll just call them "Dude"), who is being appointed to a committee, for some information to include in their bio. I asked what their spouse's name was, and if they had any children, if so what their names and ages are. When I arrived to my office this morning, this was in my inbox

Hi XXXXXXX(I don't put my name in my blog),

No, not married!
But I'm looking. Are you interested? LOL

Dude

OK, I'll tell you my thoughts in the form of questions that i hope you'll answer...They might be a little scrambled. Although the (unprofessional) LOL adds an element of humor, am i supposed to think this is funny? Am I reading too deeply into this? Why do i feel uncomfortable with my own feelings of discomfort? Has society made me THINK that i should be numb to these types of advances?

Don't get me wrong, it's not like he whipped his dick out on the keyboard and described it to me, but in a professional environment i believe this to be easily comparable. I should also mention, i don't recall ever meeting this man. But i meet a lot of old crust balding white guys so he might have just blended into the canvas. Does he know who I am? Did he write this with a clear idea of exactly who i was? Did he picture me? If he did, that's down right creepy. But I am pretty sure he knows who i am. I know we've been at a few of the same events, and i might have been the only person of color at some of these, and it's Pittsburgh. By the end of the last event I'm sure everyone knew exactly who the fuck i was.

He crossed the line. I'm not going to ignore that.

P.S. No Dude, I'm definitely not interested.

"A bag of trash..."

If you're easy offended by racial issues or ignorance, do not watch. My response to this video: What? Why? Huh? I don't think i made it past 2 minutes.

dreams/night TERRORS!

SO as i promised, I'll let you all know how my weightlifting classes were. I arrived at 5:15 and there were about 4 college kids there and a few old heads. We started the abs class by doing some excruciating exercises on the ball, after those, it was a pretty standard series of ab work. After the ab class was the circuit training. it was a combination of lifting weights, cardio, resistance training, and everything else that will make me SUPER jacked! Now that it's been almost a week since the class, my muscles are still a bit sore, but my abs got the best work out of all. I've been thinking about this class so much that i had a dream that i had abs of steel, and i was showing them off to everyone! It was a pretty funny dream, and I'm well on my way to metal abs! :)



Speaking of dreams i had a recent nightmare that McCain won the presidential election, but if my childhood superstitions serve me correctly, if i tell everyone my dream, it won't come true? so please Tell everyone you know about my horrible night TERROR!

These Keen's were tailor made for walking.

For documentation purposes: I walked 12,276 steps yesterday. In my quest to live a really healthy youthful life, I've began to monitor yet another seemingly unimportant part of my daily routine; I've been monitoring my walking. To lose weight or to remain fit, a healthy person should walk about 10,000 steps a day. 2,000 steps = 1 mile, so yes, one should walk 5 miles a day. My interest was sparked when i read that the average motionless American walks about 3,000 steps a day. SO 1.5 miles. I've discussed why, and ways to change this in a previous blog. And in a mile, a person weighing about 150 or less can burn 100 calories, a 200 lbs person a little more. So people are eating 3,000 calories and only burning 150. For fear of succumbing to my body's predisposition to be overweight, I'm obsessed! I purchased a pedometer about a month ago and I wear it as often as I can remember I own it--which is about 2 or 3 times a week. What I've noticed is, it inspires me to be more active. If I've only walked about 1,500 steps during my work day, I make it a point to spend at least 30 minutes of my lunch break just WALKING around downtown. I think I'm going to walk to Point State Park during lunch today. I'm also inclined to take my dogs on longer walks just to make sure I get those steps in. I go to the gym more often as well! YES! I do feel really alive and happy. In addition to my walking, and cardiovascular routine, I'm going to reintroduce weight lifting into my fitness regimen. My gym offers MANY MANY free classes of which I'm going to be taking advantage. Tonight at 5:15 I'm going to a class called express abs it's a 15 minute class that focuses on abdominal muscle definition and strength. I'm really excited, i think this will give me the extra help i need to define my abs! And then I'll be going to a class at 5:30 called Circuit Training, which is 45 minutes of weight lifting training probably high reps of low weight. I need this! I'll blog about it tomorrow.

Dreams all night.

This morning I woke up feeling exhausted. I had strange dreams ALL night. All I can remember are little blips of them, but I felt so many different emotions: Confusion, Helplessness, Embarrassment, and just plain old PISSED OFF-ness! I’m just going to jot down what I remember in no particular order.

- It felt like any regular weekend. I was hanging out at my neighbor’s house with a lot of our friends, and some girl came over and she was eating remnants of an almost empty LARGE Lay’s plain potato chips bag. She removed her hand from the bag, and she had chip crumbs and grease all over her hands. Even in her greasy handed state, I extended my hand for a right handshake, and before I could say “Hi my name is—” she cut me off, with a snotty “Who are YOU?!?!” She said it in a manner that made my blood boil! So I walked away and ignored her. The whole time she was there, she was talking shit, possibly using racial slurs and giving me dirty looks. I lost my cool. Never in my real life or in my dream life do I EVER lose my cool. I got up and YELLED something in this girls face, and my friend removed her from his house.

- I was at a bonfire/concert and there was GREAT music playing. But for some reason I couldn’t catch the BEAT. I was just like jumping up and down hopping around to a completely different rhythm. The whole time I was dancing I kept saying to myself, why can’t I dance? Why am I dancing like THIS? People were pointing and laughing, I just kept dancing.

- A girl in my kickboxing class and I went to the DMV or something like the DMV to get some type of picture taken. There were really long lines everywhere, and there was a security guard handing out numbers (like the ones you receive at the deli) that represented the order in which we’d line up in. The whole time we were there he kept trying to pull fast ones on us. He gave us a number ticket that he made. He scribbled it down with a pen on this little tiny piece of paper, and was dying laughing when he gave it to us. It wasn’t funny. He directed us to the wrong lines and thought it was a fucking laugh RIOT.

- Two groups of friends completely merged and it was kind of weird. My fiancé and I were sleeping in our bedroom and it was a still typical Squirrel Hill night. I woke up to the sounds of a few familiar voices. I looked out the window and I saw my friends Nathan and Jeremy walking down the street holding hands. Neither of these guys are gay, but for some reason it was expected, in an 'oh that’s just Nathan and Jeremy sort of way'. Then Matt and Eric were hanging out right underneath our bedroom window. It was the middle of summer and Eric had on a winter coat and hat. He was drunk and rapping, and laughing down the street. Matt was just hanging out by the tree outside of my window.

- For some reason my friend Juliet and I wanted to hang out with boys at a basketball court. And we HAD to wear the PERFECT outfits! It was very coming of age movie-esque. We were working on my outfit, and she let me borrow some cut up white t-shirt turned tank top that barely covered my breasts. I thought it was a good idea for SOME reason in my dream.

- I went to visit my friend ____ and her boyfriend. They were in prison because they had both abused each other. He was explaining to me how she pushed him over the EDGE. He was just trying to study and she kept nagging and harassing him, so he snapped. I went into the room where she was and she lifted up her pant leg and her leg was rotten all the way to the bone, but then it turned into my leg too, and we couldn’t decipher whose leg was whose. I didn’t know if I should shudder at the site of her leg, or feel my own pain. It was an intense feeling.

This is what I remember. I just had to get it out of my head.

She.

Her name is Tonya; A 35 year old black woman who lives in Turtle Creek. She's about 300 pounds, very jolly, and easy to talk to. I met her at the bus stop one week ago, and we had a nice conversation. Usually when I’m waiting for the glorious 67F, my iPod serves as a barrier between myself and the rest of the world, and my body is so strategically placed that I don't make accidental eye contact with any of the crazies, they love me. But for some reason last Monday was different. My signature white headphones were giving me GREAT vibrations, and that was the first time I laid eyes on her. She. She walked up to me and just started talking. I couldn't hear her because I was so into whatever was playing that I forgot I lived in a society, and I just kind of looked at her. After I came back to Earth, I took my headphones out, and she was telling me about herself. She really just walked up to me, a stranger, and struck up a REAL conversation. She stood beside me in her Wendy’s uniform grinning from ear to ear. She told me, she was SO happy to be off of work, and that she'd hoped her man had a blunt waiting for her as soon as she got home. I felt the exact same way. This woman and I are from two different worlds, and we had a hard bonding moment over green deliciousness wrapped in a mocha toned delight. We might have even high fived...well I guess we "pounded". So the bus comes and I took the window side of a two seater and moved in tightly assuming that we'd be sitting together, but she sat behind me instead in her own two seater. She told me about her life. She grew up in Pittsburgh, she was married when she was 20, and was divorced at 25. Her ex husband was 30 years older than her, and she felt safe. He had money, but he was too controlling. She's been with her current boyfriend for 7 years, and she's known him since she was a kid when they were in a group home together. He never smiles, but she tries to do everything in her power to get him to even slightly grin. He's a really serious loyal ex-marine, and he loves her dearly. She was so happy when she talked about him. She smiled the whole time. As the conversation progressed she expressed how she was still grieving over the loss of her sister--her only family member that she was truly close to. Her younger sister who is still alive is 22, and she aspires to be a prostitute. She doesn't talk her, or to her mom that often because they're still fighting over her deceased sisters life insurance money. Tonya doesn't want it, nor does she care who gets it. There's no money in the world that would heal the pain of losing her only REAL best friend. I was nearing my stop and restoring my faith in humanity. I usually pretend I don't hear slightly disheveled strangers when I’m at the bus stop because 10 out of 10 times, they're crazy or want my money. But I gave myself a pat on the back and I met a really nice person. I even told my fiancé about her, as well as one of my good friends. Two days later, I saw her again on the bus stop again. she had like ten pennies in her had and was like, do you have change for a dollar, and she dug into the pocket of her dirty uniform and offered me the dollar, and I’m like I’ll just give you the change I have, don't worry about the dollar. She accepted the change and said thank you. She seemed different. She kind of had a crazy look in her eye. To start off the conversation, she told me how she stole 20 dollars out of another girl's register at work. Then she showed me the 20 and said something like "bling" or "ching ching" I can't really remember. I just replied with Oh, OK. Then she sang a little tune about how she was a bad girl today. It made me a little uncomfortable but who am I to judge. I'm sure this woman has never known the feeling of not being financially strapped, and my mainly suburban upbringing has allowed me to have "morals". When you have to survive, golden rules don't fucking matter. SO I didn't pass judgment. Then she told me how she does it all the time, and sang her little bad girl song, really loudly and I just kind of smiled and nodded. Then we got on the bus, and she whispered something to me that was extremely vulgar that I won't even type here to offend you with. I had something to do with her period. So then she pulled out her copy of the free PM trib. She likes to read horoscopes. Hers had something to do with money. She read it aloud, and I don't think I’ve heard an adult read so poorly in person, thank you America for the little attention you pay to poor inner-city schools. She got to the word curtail, tried to sound it out, and she showed it to me. I pronounced it, and gave her the definition. She told me I was one of those "smart girls". When we were done with the horoscopes we started to talk about religion. Then the conversation took a very wrong turn. She's a vulgar woman. It's very difficult to offend me, so I could handle and forget about what she said, but I think most people would have either moved or ended the conversation. I didn't respond to anything she was saying, and we were a block from my house at the most opportune moment of my life. It was simply PERFECT that I was home as she was telling me that she had to stop going to church because she would let the 80 year old organ player go down on her for 50 dollars every Sunday.

Neglect.

When i first started this blog, i had so much to say. I feel like I've hit a dry spell in my motivation to write. It's not the fact that note-worth things haven't been happening in my life, but i think My full fledged enjoyment of all of the surface summer days and warm nights have left me less introspective than normal. The next really rainy day, i swear to __(insert name of whoever/whatever you believe in here)___ that I'll write my heart out.

Fuck Teeth.

I’ve taken so much pride in my smile. My teeth are naturally straight, and every dentist until now has told me I have amazingly strong teeth! I’ve never had a cavity and I stay away from candy for this very reason. BUT.BUT! I’ve been super lax on going to the dentist in the past few years. I kept telling myself I was going to go, but I just kinda said fuck it! Recently, I’ve begun to suspect that I might have a cavity…so I f i n a l l y went to the dentist! I have CAVITIES! A LOT OF THEM! They also had to do some crazy deep cleaning, which might have been comparable to child birth, or a paper cut.

IN about 20 minutes, I have to get 2 of 1,000 cavities filled, and I’m terrified. I’ve never had anything drilled OR filled, and I don’t even know what to expect. I’m not afraid of needles, but what if my face never comes “un-numb”!? Shit, fuck teeth.

A.

Dear A.,

How are you? I think it's been about 2 or 3 years since we've seen each other. I miss you. I remember when we first met in 7th grade. We were both the "new kids" and because i was the "new BLACK kid" amongst a sea of judgemental white upper middle class suburban faces, the other kids had a much harder time accepting me. But you were different. You realized we had a lot of classes together and you brought that to my attention after the first week of school. I was really elated to know that anyone even noticed me or cared. After that day we walked to all of our classes together and even sat at the same table in Mr. K.'s Art Class, since that was the only class in which we could choose our seats. We became really close. We told one another all of our deepest darkest secrets and had a trust much deeper than even siblings possess. I thought this friendship would last forever. We would vow to raise our kids on the same street, and that we'd be best friends forever no matter what. Even if we did happen to live far away from each other we'd talk at least once a week. But that didn't happen. You went to college far away and i went to school at home. You changed a lot of your contact information and told a few people and excluded me. I thought it was strange, but i figured it was a mistake. I got your information from someone and we got back in touch and it was just like old times. This happened about 3 or 4 more times, until you finally lost all contact with me. I thought about you a few times a year and tried to find you online. I finally found you a few months ago on facebook, and i tried to get in touch with you, but you made it CLEAR, by not responding to me and blocking every aspect of your profile, that you wanted no contact with me. I took a friend's advice and forgot about it you. Fuck it, fuck that, fuck you. I'm happy, I'm in a wonderful place in my life right now, and it is completely pointless for me to worry my joyful little head about you, and the friendship we could have had. You were removed from my mind. Erased. Then. Last Night. You were in my dream. It felt so real. it was just like old times. I did something sarcastic and funny and it cracked you up so hard that you feel on the floor. You were one of the only people that REALLY understood my humor, and I've been thinking about you since i woke up this morning. Why can't we be friends? Whatever I don't care anymore. I just needed to write this letter that you'll never read to help me re-erase you from my life. I wish you well, and please don't ever show up in my dreams again. If you can't give me a simple phone call, you definitely don't deserve to be in my subconscious mind.

Love always,
Nix

Vegan Bike NIGHT!

--don't come unless you ride a Peugeot or can make the best curry tofu ever!

So for those of your that know me, I'm a vegan. For those of you that don't know me; I'm not defined by my veganism, nor do I judge individuals based on their dietary preferences. It's just a choice I made on August 6, 2004 when i was one with my couch, almost 200 lbs, and felt like shit when the alarm clock on my Nokia 5160 harassed me out of bed every single morning. I was basically trapped inside of my Big Bacon Classic, Fries and a Sprite (This ungodly combination of what can barely be called food represents my body, since we indeed ARE EXACTLY WHAT WE EAT!). And my only way out was research.

On that misty August morning, i sat in front of my computer with the intention of going to the websites of all of my favorite fast food joints. I wanted to look at the Nutrition Facts of all of the meals i routinely ordered. My first stop was Wendy's to read about old faithful, the #4 Big Bacon Classic Value Meal, BIGGIE sized with a Sprite (32oz). This was my last stop. I learned the Burger alone (which has since been replaced on the menu with the Baconator which has TWO burger patties instead of ONE!) was about 620 calories! The Fries (large) were 550 Calories , and my 32 oz of clear soda-y goodness was 260 Calories! SO in one meal, i was eating 1440 Calories, which is on average the amount of food a woman of my age and height should consume in ONE DAY! And i probably ate two meals like this everyday day 2880+ and let's not forget the snacking (2 bags of chips @ 460 calories a piece ) 940! SO at a total of approximately 3,820 calories a day, i was eating the amount calories i should be eating over the course of almost 3 days in 24 hours, and not even dreaming of exercise. SO after i picked my jaw up off of my keyboard, i brainstormed a list of vegetables and fruits that i liked. Then i began to research percent daily values, and what good healthy proteins and fats could do for me. I cleared out my fridge and from that day on, my life has been completely different. After being vegan for only 5 months, i lost about 25 lbs with NO exercise! I just changed the way i ate!

In January of 2005, I joined a gym for the first time in my life. I was terrified! What if the muscle bound men and waifs stare at me, or even point and laugh!!?!?! Thank goodness i didn't let my fear deter me, I lost so much weight, and i actually learned that i love to work out! The only thing that I needed to work on, was finding vegan options other than french fries and salad when i dined out. I wrote on a few message boards looking for vegan friends to show me a few places, and i was NOT welcomed with opened arms. This first question everyone asked me was: "So how long have you been vegan?" If i knew that the reply of almost 6 months wasn't the right answer i would have bumped it up a little so these people would give me the time of day. My response would warrant forum wide laughter and ridicule! Oh you're barely vegan !
She won't last
Why start now?

I was SHOCKED! I was completely unaware of this elitist designer veganism that fueled the hearts of animal rights activists, bike punks, and emo kids alike. Their reasoning for being vegan from my understanding at the time, was based on blending in with their circle of friends/subculture they attempted to fit into. a highschool-esque clique who turned their noses up at you if you weren't wearing a Kiss Me I'm Vegan T-shirt. Fuck it. Fuck that! How will anyone ever be educated enough about your cause to become a part of it, if your holier than thou attitude is so forboding that people are scared to even accept your pamphlet propaganda?!

Tonight is Vegan Dessert Night at a local bakery. My friend asked if i was going, and i said if i do go, i'm going to get my dessert and JET, I'm not trying to be all Pittsburgh Militant Vegan about it. I don't want to read a stranger's zine which probably won't be recycled by 90% of the people they hand it to, or save the earth with them just because all of their friends are doing it. I'll save mother Earth because she and most of her people are definitely in need of relief, and I'll continue to be vegan because it makes me feel good and i love to cook vegan food. Not because you're wasting paper telling me to do so.

Stimulus Check

Just a little advice: PLEASE don't blow your stimulus check on some expensive shit you wouldn't normally buy. Add it to your savings. If you don't have a savings account, open a savings account with it. You'll gain interest on it. Why not make it work for you?

the tangled web and weave.

When i was a little girl, i would stare at my hair in the mirror for hours, just trying to understand, how i could make it straight. How would i get my hair to be more manageable? and I'd ask god WHY on earth he gave me this horribly nappy hair. Why did it have to hurt so badly when my mom combed it? There was a girl in my first grade class, named Priscilla , and i remember during recess she would get out her barbie brush and the plastic Mattel novelty would flow through her hair just as smoothly as a shark swam through water. It was amazing, beautiful. I went home and tried it and the shit got STUCK! Then it hurt even MORE the next time my mom combed my hair b/c it was all knotted from said brush fiasco. Since i still believed in god, I'd pray every night:

Jesus I love you, All i have is you, Yours i am, And yours i want to be, do with me what you will, Now i lay me down to sleep, i pray the lord my soul to keep and if i die before i wake, i pray the lord my soul to take. Bless Mom, Bless Dad, Bless Lauren, Bless Grandma, and Granddad, Bless all of my aunts, uncles and cousins, and all of the people in the world that don't have families. PLEASE GOD IF I WAKE UP AND MY HAIR IS STRAIGHT AND FLOWING UNTIL AT LEAST THE MIDDLE OF MY BACK, I'LL NEVER DO ANYTHING BAD AGAIN. I'LL NEVER TALK BACK TO MY PARENTS, OR START FIGHTS WITH MY SISTER AND I'LL STOP WHISPERING SWEAR WORDS WHEN I'M IN THE TUB SINCE I KNOW NO ODY CAN HEAR ME! PLEASE. IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO BE LIKE KELLY BUNDY STRAIGHT LIKE I SAID LAST NIGHT! I'LL BE FINE WITH LISA TURTLE, OR MARIAH CAREY STRAIGHT! EVEN CHILI FROM TLC! and I'd end every prayer with God, please show me a miracle!

I'd wake up in the morning look in the mirror, hop in the shower and start WHISPER SWEARING the 3 swear words i knew, because my hair was still nappy! aww hell, why isn't my hair straight! i said i would stop cussing, well damn no I'm not gonna stop! this is crazy, mother fucker(i picked this one up as a result of witnessing my dad's road rage when someone cut him off in traffic)!


SO when i was in fifth grade, i got braids. This was my solution! It allowed me to wear any style i wanted without even having to brush or comb it! I could wear it up, down, to the side, in a french braid, half up, or pig tails! EAT YOUR DAMN HEART OUT PRISCILLA !!

So for the past 15 years, braids have been a go to when i got sick of combing, frying, and ripping out my hair -- not for my past solution to not having straight hair, but just pure laziness. I hate doing my hair, i don't have to do anything to it when it's in braids.

I'd had:
'Fros, corn rows, glued in weaves, Nigerian thread style braids, twisties, flat ironed straight styles anything you can imagine.

Black hair can be such a struggle, but why?

I've recently learned about some new products that african women have been using for centuries...so expect a natural style soon.

The Privilege Meme

I don't know how old this is, and many of you may have seen this already, but the original authors of this blogging exercise are Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, and Stacy Ploskonka. If you participate, they ask that you please acknowledge their copyright. Although i haven't read much about it, i believe this exercise is merely a tool used to display how your experience/privileges differ based on race, socio-economic class and educational background.
Bold the statements that apply to you.

Father went to college
Father finished college
Mother went to college
Mother finished college
Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor
Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers
Had more than 50 books in your childhood home
Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
Were read children's books by a parent
Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively
Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs
Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
Went to a private high school
Went to summer camp
Had a private tutor before you turned 18
Family vacations involved staying at hotels
Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18
Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them i don't drive but they did this for my sister.
There was original art in your house when you were a child
Had a phone in your room before you turned 18
You and your family lived in a single family house
Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
You had your own room as a child
Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course
Had your own TV in your room in High School
Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College
Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
Went on a cruise with your family
Went on more than one cruise with your family
Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up
You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family



As i expected, a lot of these have been bolded...I guess i was a privileged child? I wonder what MY children (someday if i have them) would be able to relate to in bold faced font. Hopefully they can experience everything on this list. there's a theory that states you can never be poorer than your parents, and success generally progresses through generations...guess i better start their college funds now.

Warmth

I just want to say hooray for spring! During the months of November-march, I'm an introverted (if such a thing is possible), lesser version of myself. It's as if the sky clouds my thoughts, judgement or ability to be pleasant and/or display how happy I truly am. I'm always happy. Content. Satisfied. But when Jack Frost comes to town, i just don't have the energy to be exactly who I am. I hate jackets, i hate winter hats, i hate winter boots, I hate gloves. The only good thing about winter is how peacefully dead everything becomes after snow has fallen. There's really nothing else i can compare it to. Everyone cozy in their houses/apartments, drinking warm drinks, and outdoors the silence is so thick you can cut it with a knife. Enough about winter... it's SPRING! I can walk ANYWHERE! for HOURS! I can stand outside without a plan beyond simply existing in the warmth of the sun. I can take my dogs in the backyard and actually let them play (opposed to making them do their business and hurrying back inside)! Joe and I can go camping, hiking, swimming, thank goodness. Grilling, laughing, drinking...the list could go on forever.

SPRING!! Who wants to play outside??

Crazy

I've just come to the realization that I'm crazy. I may be be completely insane in fact. Possibly to a stranger or acquaintance, I appear to be level headed, calm, well spoken, and possibly innocent(?). But those that know me really well know that's the exact opposite of the reality that is N. CRAZY O. The only thing that's ever visually offended me is my neighbors old balls when he flashes all of us neighborhood girls. I've seen dead bodies, sex, blood, feces, vomit without batting an eye. Nothing is taboo. Not to say that I enjoying seeing the aforementioned things that are supposed to be "gross", it's just that it's no big deal. I don't feel any discomfort seeing such horrible images, but i feel complete and utter discomfort in thinking what i could have touched by accident on railings, bus poles, bus seats, telephones, shoes etc. I mean i really let my wander--OMG, what if this guy next to me just touched xyz and didn't wash his hands, and now i have to touch the pole, oh god, is there a way to getting around touching anything he's touched???

Sometimes i like to talk in funny accents for no reason, and when I'm drunk I'll relate with strangers about our common experiences that I've never had.

I rarely take the elevator ever so when i MUST use one, i feel like i have to make it count. I play this game on the elevator at work: when the elevator stops, i try to do as many harlem shakes as i can before the door opens thus allowing some to catch me, the current record is 7.

Sometimes i go through a phase where i count my teeth over and over and over again. Sometimes i get lost in thought and miscount them, and i get kind of pissed about it, so then i have to count them like twice in a row to make up for it.

OK so I'm going to stop listing crazy things i do, because I'm scaring myself and probably you. But this makes me think, since i know these things are not normal am I sane? Do people get the label of crazy when they DON'T realize their regular actions aren't acceptable and they lose the understanding of the concept of social normalcy? I'm going to conclude this blog with a list of actual crazy people.

The woman I ride the bus with whose hair is formed into ONE dread lock, carries a doll with her, and talks to and beats the doll when she's "done something bad"

The man who sits in a puddle across the street from my office every time it rains, and is nowhere to be found on beautiful days.

George W. Bush Supporters

The transvestite who "lives" outside/beside of the rite aid on Forbes and Smithfield, and sits in her recliner reading 10 year old news papers.


My 4th grade teacher who had an unwarranted hatred for me.


People who are obsessed with plastic surgery.

Almost all of the guys i've ever dated, except Joe, of course.

A guy who begged for change from my friend and me, and after we said no, he asked for ass in place of the change we already weren't giving him.



You...?

Thanks.

This is an excerpt from an e-mail thread with a friend. I wrote it in a moment of self reflection.


I am really fortunate that i have my parents' help and support in whatever i do. I think at times it's hurt me, or i guess allowed me to let myself slip? I did really well in school for my entire life, so they never had to ride me, and i really didn't have any rules. I was definitely taught virtuous lessons, but maybe since i got it, they didn't wanna push it and force me to rebel? I got bored with college and decided to make money and they were behind me 100%. It's ultimately a good thing, but had they been more strict or disapproving, I'd probably be done with school now..BUT in a career i wasn't passionate about. Honestly, if i told my parents i wanted to go to clown school, my mom would say, can't wait to see you in the circus baby! haha. How do they do it? I think it's my mom and her influence on my dad. she's one of the most open minded, intuitive, intelligent compassionate people that i know. I really want to grow up to be just like her...well other than the sedentary lifestyle. I wanna be an active version of my mom. If i was a teenager hearing myself say this, I'd be SHOCKED. Like every teenager, i couldn't stand my parents and i thought they were so OLD and unhip! haha. guess it was just my hormones. Also my dad is a really sensitive guy, and he's a really hard worker, and he does it for us. God our generation doesn't know shit about that! Like how the fuck am I gonna feed some kids let alone buy them gadgets? All i got to give them is love, FUCK.I have to clothe them!? WOW!

MOVE!

America needs to get off of the COUCH! Stop eating food that's made in a lab/factory and eat something that will actually make you feel GOOD! The stimulus for this blog was seeing an obese child too unfit to keep up with his 40 year old mother's walking pace! INSANITY! SHE made him that way! We live in a country with amazing resources and we KNOW that what we put into our bodies is killing us. Nobody has to be fat. It’s all part of the American machine. Consume consume consume, and sit sit sit. Everything in our society it centered around sitting and eating, This isn’t a coincidence. America wants you to sit in your car and DRIVE up to a restaurant, order your fried food without ever leaving your seat, eat fries while sitting on the way home, and to eat your food sitting in front of a television. When is there movement? Never. Before you went to the drive thru you were more than likely sitting in front of a computer. You took the elevator down one floor, and walked out to the parking lot to your car parked in the closest spot possible, and then drove to the death-thru. Most Westerners wouldn’t see a problem with this, which is an even greater problem than our nation’s obesity epidemic. As if morbid obesity wasn’t awakening enough, now as Americans we’ve grown to become super morbidly obese. It’s saddening. Through writing I can’t possibly convey or evoke the emotions that rise within me when stores have the option of “extra meat” listed on their menus, like lemmings people are elated with this choice and oblige. Take a walk during your lunch break. Park far away, or really question if you MUST drive. Walking or biking to your destination is good for the environment and your body. Pack your own lunch. Walk around during commercial breaks. Get rid of your remote. These all sound elementary and possibly silly…but it works. My M.O. is Bullshit in, bullshit out. You’re not going to be healthy if you eat fried battered fake food, you’re going to LOOK like the bullshit you eat! Our Country is making us fat, and it’s time that we (literally) take a stand and regain control of our bodies.

I wonder.

I've been looking for an old "best friend" for about 4 years now, and I've finally found her. I sent her a message, and hopefully she'll reply. I wonder if she lost touch with me on purpose. I've had the same telephone number for 6 years, and other than living in ATL for a few months, i've resided in the same 8-10 mile radius for the past 5 years, I'm a really easy person to get a hold of, so it really makes me wonder. The last time we talked or saw each other was after another two year episode of "losing touch". Maybe i should stop trying? The thing is, this isn't any ordinary friendship. She's probably one of the closest friends I've ever had, and we could tell each other anything without passing judgement, or feeling uncomfortable. I really hope she gets back to me. Hopefully we'll become close enough again, that i can ask her if i did something that would cause her to de-friend me. Maybe i'm just too real.

As Seen On TV

I probably watch about 3 hours of TV a week. Not because i'm too cool, but between all of the classes, exercise and increasingly nice weather, i just don't have time. We have DVR, so when i DO watch television I don't watch any commercials. I unaware of what the latest movies are, I'm not a member of the Partnership for A Drug-Free America, and I don't know where to purchase the best manufacturer-approved used automobiles for no money down. I'm the least likely person to ever own ANYTHING that could be seen in an infomercial, and i'm definitely not the target consumer of any of these product. BUT au contraire (!!!) I'm sure i own more As Seen On TV products than any of my friends whose nights consist of 4-6 hours of vegging out in front of the boob tube. My lovely friend Jessica Rozek asked me if a certain product Joe and i have (from TV) works as well as the commercial leads you to believe, and i said YES! So she inspired me to rate a few of the items that we've purchased:

on a scale from 1 TV(terrible)-5TVs (wonderful, can't imagine how i ever lived without it)



Shamwow: The Shamwow (name inspired by chamois) is a super absorbent cloth , that claims to replace the paper towel. We received 5 large and 3 small shamwow's for the low price of $19.99 It's unique suction power is incomparable to any drying rag/cloth/chamois on that i've ever tried, and Joe and I use them EVERYDAY! After it's been throroughly soaked and soiled, you can toss it in the washing machine and it really comes out perfectly.
One of our best As Seen on TV purchases to date:







Tablemate II: This is NO average TV tray! The Tablemate II has 3 levels in which the platform can be placed, six height settings, It's bent legs slide UNDER the couch, allowing you to be LAID back while enjoying your meal, and it's surface is a durable hard plastic, which is seemingly impenetrable . The TMII can not only be used as a TV tray, but as a child's art desk, night table, easel, card table and ANYTHING else imaginable. I would not recommend purchasing the white model because the surface stains easily, and can be difficult to clean:






Go Duster: Came right on time in about 4 or six business days. Arrived broken, and haven't sent it back yet.



Right now we have our eyes on the Pancake Puff...there goes my diet!

blah

SO i created this blog with the hope of being inspired to document my life through text...but i don't really have much to say. During the week, my life is monotonous, uneventful, and some might even say disgustingly boring--I never saw this coming. I vowed i'd never work a 9-5, I'd never sit at a desk all day, and I'd try to travel out of the country at LEAST twice a year, it's funny how things turn out. I'm in desperate need of change: a change of scene, a change of pace and a change of career. I'm pretty sure complacency is the closest thing to hell that I've ever experienced. I'm not saying i don't like my life, because i do, i love it in fact, I just need to get beyond these gray skies, beyond the small minds, and beyond the poor grammar. I have two vacations lined up and the weather is getting warmer everyday, soon things won't be so drab (change of scene)! I've been working out a lot lately so i have a lot energy, and once it warms up a little more I'll probably regain my urge to walk the dogs for hours (change of pace) . I'm going back to school in the fall and HOPEFULLY completely changing my career. I'll be studying to obtain a B.S. in Clinical Dietetics and Nutrition, god i can't wait.

ok, i don't really have anything else to say...i'll try again tomorrow.

SSSSSSSEEEEEEEVVVVVVVEEEEEEENNNNNNN

So Holly tagged me to write about seven things you don't know about me. I think i'm an open book so it might be kinda difficult to muster up things yinz don't know, here goes:


1. About 5 years ago, I was using a stall in the bathroom at my job, and in my head, i heard my own voice say, "You are going to die today". It's the oddest experience I've ever had. I cried a little, came to terms with it and i didn't tell anyone. obviously i didn't die, but since that day I've been really ok with dying.

2. I was 11 years old the first time i watched porn.

3. I truly believe I've had several past lives. Sometimes I'll know a lot about a topic i've never researched or even read about, then i'll look it up and be right about it. This happened pretty frequently when i was a child, and I always thought it was because i was on my 100th life or something. I'm a pretty logical person and this barely makes any sense to me, but sometimes it's ok believe in things no matter how absurd they are. Just 'cause.


4. I don't realize how young 24 years old really is.


5. I could carry a decent conversation by the age of 1, and could read well by 2. When my mom my sister and i went to enroll my sister into preschool, I commented on the director's terrarium, and she said any 2 year old who knows what a terrarium is should definitely be in school. So I began preschool at 2, and stayed for 3 years until i was 5. When i was a kid, i didn't understand why my mom never let me skip grades or be thrown into overly challenging intellectual situations(don't get me wrong, i was in gifted programs and read a lot of books geared for an older audience, but i didn't go to college lectures, you know what i mean). When i asked her about it in my late teens, she told me, in order to properly socially develop, children need to be in age appropriate environments, and the she thinks i turned out just fine. I am so thankful that she felt that way because i'm pretty much a social butterfly, and i can work any crowd. I'm so happy to not be all pocket protector-y.

6. I've always wanted a pair of saddle shoes.


7. I hated ketchup, mushrooms, hot sauce and garlic until i became vegan. now i LOVE those four things.

Let's Get Physical.

I'm buzzing with energy! I can barely sit still, and I danced in my office to a reggae song before I even took my coat off. I got up at 5:00AM and ran on my elliptical machine for an hour, and then I took my dogs for a 20 minute walk in the rain. Now as a result, I’m so wide awake I feel as if I could jump out of my skin. Although, actually jumping out of my skin would be utterly disgusting, I feel really good. I'm literally high on life, and mainly high on exercise. I don't have an addictive personality, but I'm becoming obsessed with working out. My need to pump iron, run, kick box, walk, dance and do yoga isn't at all for vanity's sake. I just want to be as healthy as I possibly can, to feel LIFE. Physical activity seems to really agree with my body. When I don't work out regularly, I honestly feel like I’m dying. I can really feel my metabolism slowing down, and all of my adipose tissue (fat) cells remembering how big they once were. But when I work out, I feel immediate affects of releasing toxins from my body through sweat, and I’m renewed, I'm alive. I've never had a hobby or experience that makes me feel as good as I do when I’m regularly taking care of my body. Maybe it's because I’ve never done hard drugs. Maybe it's because I read a lot about the human body, and I know to pay attention to the information my body gives me, who knows? I really wanted to be done with this blog, but I can't now, because this is a perfect segue for me to explain proprioception and kinesthetic awareness. Proprioception is the concept of unconsciously understanding muscle/organ contractions INSIDE of the body, and being able to identify what the possible stimuli for the reaction could have been. Although this is unconscious, if our bodies can't fix the problem, they'll tell us in the form of pain or abnormality. for example: you eat a meal of fried, battered, processed food, and the next day your stomach is all jacked up, and you're basically number 1'ing out of the number 2 hole, and your stomach is killing you...you say oh it must have been the XYZ I ate from McDonald’s. This is pretty common. Another more subtle example is, you wake up one day and your back is killing you, and you don't know what could have caused it. Would you ever think it might possibly be your kidneys' reaction to being over worked b/c you haven't eaten enough fiber or haven't consumed enough h2o, thus making your bodily fluids too toxic for your kidneys to correctly process and aide in elimination of said toxins? In Western, mainly American, culture, we're not really taught about proprioception, and how to pay attention to the things our bodies tell us 24 hours a day. I'm obviously not a scientist or a Dr. but I think it's because we have machines that can painlessly look inside of our bodies, and if that isn't helpful enough, we can safely have our bodies OPENED to figure things out, to "fix" things. I could go on forever, but this is my first blog, and at this point keeping it brief isn't an option, I’ll try to keep it fairly simple. So...kinesthetic awareness. This is a completely conscious concept. It's our body's ability to understand its movements through space at all times. It's why Michael Jordan can "fly" and land on his feet. It separates the clumsy from the deft, and it can be learned. Lately I’ve been working on understanding what I’m doing and how it makes me feel. Like right now my ass in a chair and my nerves are telling me that, but I don't pay attention to it unless I stop myself and think about it. My fingers are typing on the keyboard but I usually ignore and don't even notice the way that the keys feel. Putting a bottle of water up to my lips and actually feeling those little ridges has become a lot more spiritual than it once was. haha. All crazy health nut rant aside, I've come to the realization, the more I understand about my body and how it affects my life, the better I can understand the world. There's so much more we all can learn about ourselves, starting with the really minute details.