Crazy

I've just come to the realization that I'm crazy. I may be be completely insane in fact. Possibly to a stranger or acquaintance, I appear to be level headed, calm, well spoken, and possibly innocent(?). But those that know me really well know that's the exact opposite of the reality that is N. CRAZY O. The only thing that's ever visually offended me is my neighbors old balls when he flashes all of us neighborhood girls. I've seen dead bodies, sex, blood, feces, vomit without batting an eye. Nothing is taboo. Not to say that I enjoying seeing the aforementioned things that are supposed to be "gross", it's just that it's no big deal. I don't feel any discomfort seeing such horrible images, but i feel complete and utter discomfort in thinking what i could have touched by accident on railings, bus poles, bus seats, telephones, shoes etc. I mean i really let my wander--OMG, what if this guy next to me just touched xyz and didn't wash his hands, and now i have to touch the pole, oh god, is there a way to getting around touching anything he's touched???

Sometimes i like to talk in funny accents for no reason, and when I'm drunk I'll relate with strangers about our common experiences that I've never had.

I rarely take the elevator ever so when i MUST use one, i feel like i have to make it count. I play this game on the elevator at work: when the elevator stops, i try to do as many harlem shakes as i can before the door opens thus allowing some to catch me, the current record is 7.

Sometimes i go through a phase where i count my teeth over and over and over again. Sometimes i get lost in thought and miscount them, and i get kind of pissed about it, so then i have to count them like twice in a row to make up for it.

OK so I'm going to stop listing crazy things i do, because I'm scaring myself and probably you. But this makes me think, since i know these things are not normal am I sane? Do people get the label of crazy when they DON'T realize their regular actions aren't acceptable and they lose the understanding of the concept of social normalcy? I'm going to conclude this blog with a list of actual crazy people.

The woman I ride the bus with whose hair is formed into ONE dread lock, carries a doll with her, and talks to and beats the doll when she's "done something bad"

The man who sits in a puddle across the street from my office every time it rains, and is nowhere to be found on beautiful days.

George W. Bush Supporters

The transvestite who "lives" outside/beside of the rite aid on Forbes and Smithfield, and sits in her recliner reading 10 year old news papers.


My 4th grade teacher who had an unwarranted hatred for me.


People who are obsessed with plastic surgery.

Almost all of the guys i've ever dated, except Joe, of course.

A guy who begged for change from my friend and me, and after we said no, he asked for ass in place of the change we already weren't giving him.



You...?